"Well here we are again..."

I am not a hardcore gamer.


Now, hold on! Before you raise your hand in the back to make your case against that statement, let me explain. Yes, I do play games, which is obvious from the graveyard of games that litter my floor and boxes upstairs. That would be a tick against me, yes. Except, how many of those games have I finished? A lot? All of them? Would you believe almost none? 


Ok, so I then I hear you ask, why do I have so many games if I am not going to complete them? Well, to be quite honest, I am not sure what type of games I am going to be able to finish, and which ones I am just going to give up on, with the hope on returning to later (which almost never happens). With the expection of The Legend of Zelda, and several Mario games, and Uncharted 2, there haven't been a lot of success stories here. Not that I don't enjoy returning to these games again at a later date, but I mostly have to restart from the beginning, and hope to get through them. 


Unfortunately, Portal (part of The Orange Box) falls on this list.


Fortunately, Portal 2 doesn't.


I will say that Portal 2 joins the company of Ocarina of Time, Windwaker, Twilight Princess, Red Dead Redemption, and Uncharted 2 as being one of my top and favorite games. It might even hit the top spot, under a bit of soul searching. 


<SPOILER WARNING!!> 

Run like Chell!

In Portal 2, you are once again Chell the hero of the last game. After destroying GLaDOS in the first Portal, she is suddenly awakened in a future time, somehow stuck in a destroyed Aperture Science building, one that is rusted out and dead and/or dying. Of course, there is no information about how she got there. Water and vegetation, from above, has taken over, and the building is crumbling. 

British and Bad Ass!

This is where we meet Wheatley, a computer program (voice brilliantly by British actor Stephen Merchant) who saves Chell by sending her into the building to find a Portal Gun, to help her escape. Going through old test chambers, she heads into a familiar room, where the destroyed body of GLaDOS lays on the ground. However, as the best villians do, she comes back to life, destroys Wheatley, and is hell bend of taking out her agressions on Chell by sending her back into test chambers destined to destroy her. 


As Chell is running through the different tests, Wheatley suddenly re-appears desperate to lead her back to GLaDOS to try and finish this once and for all. To do this, once they re-enter the her chamber, Wheatley takes over GLaDOS' body, and all should be good, right? No. Instead Wheatley becomes corrupted by the power and sends Chell and a torn down GLaDOS into the depths of the ancient Aperture Science world below. 

Welcome to the '40's

It is here that Chell must begin her journey back to up to the main building, through the skeleton of the old Aperture Science buildings that started testing on subjects in the 1940's until the 1980's. Heading through rusted and mostly delapadated structures, Chell, with the help of a limited functioning GLaDOS, must proform tests using different gels, one that allows the user to bounce higher, like a trampoline, one that makes the user go faster, and one that helps to create portals where there were none to begin with. The atomsphere here, coupled with the constant voice-overs by Cave Johnson (a just perfectly cast J.K. Simmons), Aperture's in your face, take no prisoners, and speaking his mind, founder, really make this section of the game amazing to experience. I can see where certain players find this section to be slow, but I found it to be mesmorizing, really adding to the experience of this game. Of course, as you head up towards the top of this old testing area, the dangers become more and more apparent, as it is obvious that Wheatley has lost control over the building he currently is running. 

1970's, lookin' good!

After coming up from the past, as it were, you re-enter the new building, only to find that Wheatley has been trying to test of turret/cube hibrids that he wants to solve the puzzles he's made. In the meantime, though, he has ignored the fact that the nuclear power that helps to keep the building running is going critical. Once he latches onto the fact that Chell and GLaDOS have returned, he starts putting them through level tests to try and get a kick (Yes, Chell and GLaDOS, sworn enemies, are now working together for the common good). However, as this wears off, he becomes more and more desperate and angry, and time begins to run out. The last few puzzles here are fast paced and really about trying to outsmart Wheatley at his own game. Of course, you do make it into the final area to battle with Wheatley and try to help GLaDOS return to her body. And the ending is nothing but epic, note worthy as being one hell of a payoff. 


<END OF MAJOR SPOILERS>


I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this game. The story is amazingly engaging, the puzzles range from simple to aggravating to aggravatingly simple. At times you easily shoot one portal here and walk to there. At other times you shoot a portal here, jump to there, shoot another portal before you fall completely, and you may repeat this process with a box in your hand, making it much harder. It is basically presented in 3 parts. The first part is very familiar of the first game, with the difference that GLaDOS is rebuilding the building as you are moving along. A room that is turmoil as you enter, begins to clear up as you exit. The second part is when you wander the halls of the old Aperture buildings, and the third is back into the Wheatley run facility that is currently in chaos. 

No problem can't be fixed, except every problem!

What makes this game go above and beyond the normal game is the sense of humor that runs throughout the game. Being insulted never felt so much fun. From GLaDOS to Wheatley to Cave Johnson, the voice acting is top notch on every level. Those cute murdering turrets are back and with their lovely voices as they shoot you, are now joined by newer sillier flawed ones. Even the odd computer announcement is filled with deep and often dark humor.
Here is a perfect example of this game's brilliance in voice acting and humor combination:

So, this game, in my book is a solid high score. I guess if I were to give it a score via stars it would be 5 out of 5. With numbers I give 9.5 out of 10 (it is at times crazy difficult to do, which can lead to frustration. That, and it has to come to an end, which is no fun), and with letters I give it a solid A. This game is one of the best. I know it will become a classic, even if they release that inevitable sequel and it isn't as good (I will hope for the best).


To sum up: Get this game! End of story.

Chell tested, GLaDOS approved

---MGS




Followup: I am posting two things, both are spoilerific (which, if you have read the rest of the review, then that's a giant duh!
The first is the end song written by Jonathan Coulton the same artist who wrote first game's amazing "Still Alive." While not as catchy, it's still a great song. 

The second is the full ending, including the song. Remember, it's EPIC and because it is out of context, it might seem weird. If nothing else, I am posting it for my own selfish reasons!