Florida.
The AMC movie theaters, at the Disney West End.
It's a crowded theatre, but one filled with electricity. On the screen, the orginal Star Wars has been re-released. As the anticipation grows, up through the trailers of coming attraction, including those of the next two Star Wars movies to be released soon, people are becoming more and more restless. Then the lights go out, the cheers starts and the music booms to a louder applauds and yelps! The moment has come! For those of us too young to have watched Star Wars on the big screen, the moment is finally here. I am surrounded by others who have also dreamed of this for years. The moments go by one by one, and we couldn't be happier! Quietly we quote along, knowing the dialogue by heart. We are that kids who watched it when we little, playing along with our action figures and homemade costumes. Those kids were once overwhelmed at the sheer joy of watching Darth Vader enter the ship in dramatic fashion and the wonderment of seeing Obi-Wan take out a lightsaber and slash the air around him. And the greatness of seeing Greedo shoot first. Wait, that's not right. Han shoots Greedo, argument over. Did that really happen? Oh well, it's still Star Wars and we are all still super excited in our chairs. This was a moment of pure magic for the geeks.
And then, that weird Jabba scene happens. You know the one, right after Greedo is killed, we get a scene that says exactly the same thing that that previous one just said. It shows Han talking over things with Jabba the Hutt, who is CGI, and looks odd. He sounds different and even a bit smaller than he looked in the original Jedi film. It's weird. The effects look weird. The scene just doesn't work. Even after all this time, and with updated effects, it still is out of place and seems ridiculous.
Maybe this should be an indicator. Maybe this should be the inkling that something is amiss, and yet, we are so excited to see this film that we let it pass! After all, the SW: Special Editions are still the old movie, just added with something more. We are so excited that it passes us up that there is a problem looming.
It's 1999. The year has finally come. The rumors had swirled for years that maybe, just maybe, Mr. Lucas was going to finally give us those prequels, giving us the back story about Darth Vader and his downfall as a Jedi. And now it's true. After all this time, we are going to see just how awesome Darth can be. This is going to be epic.
And then, the movie premiered. I'm not one of those who was able to wait in line for days. I had to work, but I looked on at them in envy, wanting to be in the line for this, with my fellow fans. It had become its own culture, these were the nerds and geeks of the past, and finally, they had something to be excited for. It was a moment in time that was amazing, and one that has been replicated many times since then, but never to that extreme. As for me, I did see it the next day after it opened. I was floored. The special effects, the story, the Lightsaber duels. I couldn't get enough. Even afterwards I was excited. I couldn't help but be amazed by the fact that I had just sat in a theater and watched a Star Wars prequel, one that had been promised and talked about for years.
And yet, something was amiss. There were weird seemingly racist people in charge of some trade federation blockage. They talked with such a weird accent, it was hard not to see how out of place this was. Then Jar-Jar showed up. This felt even weirder, with his lazy oddness and his annoying voice. Then the Gungans showed up, hard to understand, almost needing subtitles. And then the queen showed up, acting like a wooden block. And then Jack Lloyd arrived and showed everybody else how to be a horrible actor and take down a movie almost single handedly. When it was done I had seen a kick ass pod race, I had finally seen Coruscant, and I had seen an amazing lightsaber duel, with two Jedi and one dark Jedi who was gone too soon.
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| All this CGI, and I couldn't even save him |
I guess I settled. I walked out pumped, singing the praises of seeing such an amazing film. I had waited so long, so I refused to be disappointed! When people would talk to me later about just how bad it was, I would argue against it, and defend the movie! I needed to like this movie. And, I actually believed what I was saying.
Still, the movie was still not right. It felt like something was off really badly. This wasn't Star Wars, and Jake Lloyd wasn't my Darth Vader, but, as I told myself, I had two more movies to go. Things would get better. They'd have to.
They say that hindsight is 20/20. When it came to Episode 1, this is certainly true. At the time, I couldn't love a movie more. I thought to be a true fan, you had to accept all the flaws that came with this movie. I could do that. Right? No. Not even a little. When I finally looked back at what I had seen, it was a smoking wreckage that left me wondering the simple question of "what happened?"
You see, it comes down to what was given to us. What was given to us was a long movie, with tons of computer generated imagary, filled with characters who were cold and hard to identify with, and a story that made very little sense, or made you care enough to learn about what was going on up there. Here we were promised by the originals that something huge was on its way. Something that would be earth shattering and something that would take the SW universe and elevate it to the area of perfection. That is, of course,not what happened. Oh sure, the movie made a lot of money. But that is not a determiner of quality. Look at Transformers 2! It's an ungodly mess, and that made a crap ton of money. This movie was a dismal failure in the SW universe.
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| This is why we can't have nice things |
Now, of course, there are many who will still defend it. My son loves the movies, in many ways preferring them to the originals, which still hold up very well. Sure, the effects in A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and The Return of the Jedi look a bit dated, but that's part of their charm. They may look dated, but you can really feel that story going. There is a feeling of seeing people with passion putting all they could into these effects, making sure that they were there to help accentuate the story and the overall experience. Interestingly enough, the prequels used so much computer effects that you actually feel overwhelmed, and then the special effects don't hold up. Plus there doesn't seem to be the same type of care related in them. I am sure that loads of people did everything they could, putting so many hours into the movie, but it just doesn't feel like it. It's not that they aren't good, it's that not all of them were neccessary. In fact, there is very little need to have half of them. It's just to be showy. Really. That's all.
So, after waiting 22 years, I was given this movie, and I was floored by its indifference. It felt wrong.
About a year ago, after I spent a ton of time looking at it, and realizing that the SW Universe was now filled with quick cash grabs, and that the future of the movies lay in a release in 3D, starting with Episode 1, I have finally decided that I need to be done with the prequels. I will no longer defend them. There is only so many times that you can say that Attack of the Clones was better than The Phantom Menace, and that Revenge of the Sith was better than Attack of the Clones before you realize that you are just trying to lie to yourself and make yourself feel better about your disappointment in the process. No, I have decided that enough is enough. Not even touching on the other two movies, I have to say that I am basically over these movies as a whole. I no longer watch them, and basically, I ignore them. It is easy to say that they didn't happen, but we still have reminders of the crimes that these movies committed. Look at The Clone Wars animated show. It might be a good show, from what I read, but it leaves me cold. Why? Well, in addition to rewriting the history that was given to us with the films themselves, it gives us characters that we can't truly care about. And why is that? Because at some point, they all have to die. This has to happen, and soon, so that they can ignore these plot-lines in Revenge. And just when you want to get away from the madness, you see video games that contradict the storylines, toys that no longer matter, and products that feel quick and easy.
No, after 12 years, I can say that the prequels are goners. There were never the prequels we deserved, and we are all waiting for somebody who gives a crap to come along and make the real prequels. Not this pie filling of useless characters and stupid plots, all surrounded by hundreds of pretty flying ships and aliens which are ultimately hollow.
Now my concious is cleared. After all this time, I feel better about not caring and walking away.
--MGS
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