Spiderman, like we have [already] seen it before!

Finally, after 5 long years, years filled with subpar films such as The Dark Knight or The Avengers, years filled with the dullest films to come along in years like Super 8, Star Trek, or even Captain America, we finally have a Spiderman film. Those dark days of waiting to see our friendly neighborhood webslinger finally get the big screen treatment is over. 2012 will be long remembered for bringing us exactly what we were all calling for: The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises. And shoved right in between these two, amongst the rest of the summer releases, is Spiderman.

The Amazing Spiderman is not a bad film, it's just not a great film and it is certainly not a film we needed. You see, the main problem was the exact thing that I was mostly worried about and (if you were unlucky to hear me talk about it in person) I've been vocalizing for months. It is yet another retelling of Spiderman. Yes, kiddos, we get to see how Spiderman became Spiderman. Again.

A Princess is John Carter's Mars...or something like that.

Despite Disney's best efforts to destroy it, John Carter turns out to be one heck of a movie. Whatever movie that Disney was trying to sell you, with the rock rifts, the Attack of the Clone scenes, the weird ships, the lack of story, they succeeded in hiding the better film that lay underneath. And I think that it's going to cost them. Dearly.

John Carter goes for a walk!

Now, let me address the name change for a moment. This movie is called John Carter. Simple. And boring. What does the name John Carter tell me? It's about a man named John Carter. And what is he going to do? Be John Carter, right? But what makes John Carter so important? He's John Carter. Honestly, this was another great example of Disney trying to hide the most important element that is the focus of this movie, which is John Carter, goes to Mars. You see, John Carter is from earth, but goes to Mars, where he has his adventure. So, if I were thinking straight, I would have called it something like, John Carter of Mars, to help with the marketing. Instead we get John Carter. Why not just called it John? Or J. Carter? Or J, for that matter? This movie would have been so much easier to find an audience with the words Of Mars, attached. John Carter, tells me nothing but John Carter of Mars tell me tons. However, Disney not calling it A Princess of Mars, was smart. When you think of Disney and Princesses, this movie would have been a sever disappointment to brainwashed girls across the board.  I am not sure why some reviewers haven't made this connection yet, but they need to shut their mouths and stop whining. Not to mention since this movie is about John Carter (as the name clearly states) viewers would have expected more from the Princess than we are given. If I say anything good about Disney and their marketing here, I say good call on not putting Princess in the title.